Anyways, today's bible readings come from Matthew, Leviticus and Proverbs this morning.
The reading from Leviticus 1 grabbed my attention this morning.
It was a tangible way for them to say "I'm sorry God".
Though a part of me I have to admit, wishes I had that physical way of saying "I'm sorry" to God. Sometimes just repenting within and trying to change my actions doesn't seem like enough you know? It's like I want to do something to make up for all my wrongness. But I can't do that either. Because taking such a tac means that God will owe me something (forgiveness) because of MY actions. God doesn't me anything.
God freely offers up to me salvation, just by the mere fact that I have chosen to believe in him. That's all that's required. My belief that he came, that his son died for me (you know... took the place of all those animals), and that's it. All I have to do is live according to how I believe and accept that Jesus took care of all the rest. I need to live within that grace. That's it.
No doing things to pay God back for all the wrongs that I do.
No trying to make God owe me anything.
No having to make sacrifices to pay him back.
But that still doesn't change the fact that sometimes I just want to "DO" something to say how sorry I am when I contravene his best plan, his best will for my life, when I do things I know I aught not do... or even when I fail to do that which I know I must...
How does one fight this tendency within us?
I honestly don't know.
All I know is that we can't. We just need to sincerely repent within ourselves, admitting our failure to God acknowledging our need for him and Christ's actions on our behalf, and striving to live the way he wants us to. That's all we can really do.